Scotland or Bust Page 15

  “Why did you do it?”

  Granny sat back on her skinny haunches, her skirt rucked up enough to show the world her bloomers. Her shiny, red, lacy bloomers. Nikki bit her lip and kept her gaze locked on Granny’s face.

  “I suppose it was your classic case of cold feet. I loved Bertie, don’t ever doubt it. But I loved my freedom, too. The thought of being tied to one place for the rest of my life, of being someone’s wife…and not just any someone. Bertie was a fine gentleman, owned a castle and a handful of other bonnie estates. What could he want with the likes of me? I was a poor barmaid trying to save up enough to start living the life of adventure I’d always wanted. Getting married, settling down, even worse, being the lady of a fine family…that wasn’t the life for me. I didn’t think I fit with them nor they with me. I wanted my own life, and we’d only known each other a few months. In some ways, it felt like we knew each other inside and out. In others, like we were total strangers.”

  “Wow. Preaching to the choir on that one,” Nikki said, floored at what was basically her story coming out of the woman’s mouth.

  “Choir? What choir? You a singer?”

  “No,” she said, waving her off with a smile. “What happened after you ran off?”

  Granny got that faraway look in her eye again that Nikki was beginning to associate with thoughts of dear old Bertie. “He came after me. Said I was making a huge mistake not giving him a chance. He promised me that marrying him didn’t have to mean settling down. It didn’t mean my adventures were over. They were just beginning. And he was right.”

  Her smile transformed her face, giving Nikki a glimpse at the carefree girl that Granny had once been. “We had such adventures, Bertie and me. Even when we were here at home, just being together was a grand time. Always. I didn’t lose a life, I gained one. A better one. One full of life and laughter. And love. Such love.”

  She leaned forward and gripped Nikki’s hand with surprising strength. “Love like that is worth a little sacrifice.”

  “But…” Nikki hesitated, not sure how to word her fears. “Didn’t you ever regret the things you weren’t able to do? Or resent that you had to lose yourself, all your hopes and dreams, in order to be with him?”

  Granny shook her head, giving her a sad knowing smile. “I didn’t lose myself, lass. I gave a part of myself to him. I gave him my heart, a piece of my soul. But I didn’t lose anything, because I got a piece of him in return. And together we made something that was infinitely more wonderful than anything I could have ever imagined. I was still me. I still lived a wondrous, magical life, but it was even more so because Bertie shared it with me.”

  Nikki looked down at her clasped hands, thinking on everything Granny had said. She made a lot of sense. But just because things had worked out for Granny and Bertie didn’t mean they’d work out for Harrison and her. Times were different. And they were different people.

  “Your thoughts are so loud over there you’re giving me a headache,” Granny said. “Might as well share them. I can practically hear them anyway.”

  Nikki took a deep breath. “I don’t know. I get what you’re saying, and part of me does want to give us a shot. See if we could work out. I’ve never met anyone like him before.” The heat rushed to her cheeks, and she tried to will herself to keep her cool, which was a little difficult when the man she was gushing about was Granny’s sweet little Harry.

  Granny patted her knee with a dirt-covered hand, leaving streaks behind on the gorgeous fabric of her dress.

  “Harry is one of kind, and he deserves a woman who appreciates that.” She gave Nikki an appraising look. “I’ve been watching you. You’re good for him.”

  “I am?” she asked, startled but pleased at her words.

  Granny nodded. “He lights up when you enter a room. Never seen him do that for anyone else before. And he tries harder since he met you. He’s more patient. Seems to have lost that ramrod that’s been up his arse since he was a boy.”

  That startled a laugh out of Nikki. “He did seem pretty uptight when I met him.”

  “He’s not always that way. Those friends of his who came to visit are good for him, too, even if they are Americans.”

  Nikki smiled. “I’m American, you know.”

  Granny snorted and waved that away. “You’re not American. You’re the girl my Harry loves.”

  That sobered Nikki instantly. “I’m not sure whether to hope that’s true, or hope it’s not.”

  “Why is that, dearie? You love him, too. I can tell. Don’t you?”

  Nikki took a deep breath and let it out slowly, afraid to admit it out loud. “Yes,” she finally said.

  “Well, then,” Granny said with a self-satisfied grin.

  “But how do I know if that’s enough?” Nikki looked back at her hands. “If I’m enough.” She groaned and dropped her head into her hands. “Hell, I don’t even know what I want. How can I expect anyone else to?”

  Before Granny could answer, Nikki plowed onward. “I mean, when you met your husband, you’d already been on your own, pursuing your dreams. I haven’t even really figured out what my dreams are yet. And if I tie myself to another man, I’ll never find out. I’ll get wrapped up in him. Start living for his hopes and dreams. Doing what I can to make them come true while completely ignoring my own needs. Just like I always do.”

  “Horseshit,” Granny said, shocking Nikki into silence. “If you’re with a man who really loves you, he’ll give you the room to find out who you are. He’ll encourage you to figure out what you want, support your dreams, hope for your hopes. Your problem, my girl, isn’t that you haven’t been able to figure yourself out because of men. It’s because of who those men were. Someone who really loves you won’t stand in your way or hold you back. They’ll push you to get yourself out there and be the support you need to do it well.”

  Nikki opened her mouth to respond but closed it again. She didn’t have an argument for that logic. “I guess I’ve never thought about it that way before.”

  Granny gave her a satisfied nod and went back to digging while Nikki drowned in her thoughts.

  A few moments later, Granny cried out, holding up a small wooden box that she promptly tore open.

  “Oh my God. There really was a treasure,” Nikki said, dropping to her knees in a poof of skirts so she could see.

  Inside was a silver chain and locket shaped like a heart with Celtic knots. Granny opened it and smiled at the picture inside. Nikki glanced over her shoulder. A young Granny and a very handsome gentleman who looked a lot like Harrison smiled at her from the locket’s depths.

  “I take it this is Bertie?” Nikki asked.

  Granny nodded, her eyes misty. “My treasure. He was always hiding things around the property for me to find. This was the last one. I didn’t have time to find it before he left me.”

  She laughed and looked up at the sky. “I found it, you sly old fox.”

  “Let me help you put it on,” Nikki said, taking it from her and clasping it around her neck. “It’s beautiful.”

  Granny patted her hand. “He’ll come for you, I know it.”

  Nikki sighed and stood, helping Granny get to her feet. “I don’t think he will, Granny. And even if he does…” She shook her head. “I’ve been relationship jumping my whole life. I need to go into my next relationship knowing I’m doing it for the right reasons. Knowing it’s love and not infatuation or fear of being alone. Harrison deserves more than that.”

  “He deserves someone who loves him as much as you do,” Granny said, squeezing her hand.

  Nikki shook her head. “I love him enough I’d rather drive a knife through my own heart than hurt him.” She let go of Granny’s hand. “I think I should go.”

  Granny watched her walk away, but thankfully didn’t call her back. Nikki wasn’t sure she could handle more of the woman’s suddenly lucid logic. She needed to get out of there before Harrison found her. If he was even looking. It might not have been a real wedding
, but she did leave him standing at the altar, in front of all the guests.

  Nikki groaned and ran faster, heading straight for her room. Wonderful. Not only had she probably upset Harrison, but she’d ruined the big finale as well. Hopefully, they’d been able to smooth over her sudden exit. Maybe spin it into some fun tale. If she had any kind of conscience, even from a business point of view, she’d go make sure she hadn’t completely ruined the guests’ experience. But doing that would mean coming face-to-face with Harrison again, and there was no way she wanted to do that.

  Leaving was going to hurt enough.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Harrison sat in the pub, an untouched glass of whisky in his hand. Part of him wanted to toss it back, and follow it up with a good dozen more. Get so pissing drunk he’d be out cold for a week. But that wouldn’t help. The pain would still be there when he sobered up, along with a hangover.

  Besides, he wanted to feel this pain. Wanted the memory of it to erase the other memories crowding his mind. Wanted it burned in his head so the next time he had the stupid idea to go and fall in love with someone he’d remember this and get out while he could.

  She’d packed and immediately left Scotland to return to Alberth Castle. By the time he was able to follow her, she’d cleared out of his bedroom there and moved into one of the empty guest rooms. The rest of the tour group had arrived back at the castle the next morning for one last day in England before heading to the airport. And most of them had taken to following him around the castle, waiting for something to happen. He’d finally escaped to the pub, although quite a few of them had followed him there as well.

  His friends sat around him, acting as a sort of buffer, though it didn’t help much. Everyone seemed to be waiting on him to make some sort of move. What the hell they expected him to do, he had no idea. Nicole had made her choice. It was over.

  “I know what’s going on in your head,” Chris said. “Don’t let it eat at you. You’re too good a guy to turn into some cranky asshole who never lets himself get close to anyone.”

  “Yeah, especially because you’re already halfway there,” Brooks said. “Adding cranky to your repertoire would ruin your whole vibe.”

  Harrison snorted and downed his whisky and slammed the glass on the table, mouth down.

  “Why haven’t you gone after her yet?” Cole asked.

  Harrison scowled at him. “She left. Literally ran away from me. I think she’s made her feelings pretty clear.”

  Brooks waved that away. “She just had cold feet.”

  “Over a fake wedding?” Harrison asked. “If she’d changed her mind about doing the whole thing, she should have talked to me. Instead, she had to make a huge scene and take off in the middle of it, in front of all our guests. One of whom, let me remind you, got the whole damn thing on camera and uploaded it to YouTube before Nicole had even made it all the way out of the church. I don’t need that kind of drama in my life. I already have plenty of it with my family. She was supposed to help me deal with the crazy, not join in.”

  “He really doesn’t see it, does he?” Chris asked the guys.

  “See what?” Harrison asked.

  “Do you love your family?”

  He scowled again. “Of course.”

  “Then why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t fit in with them? Someone who’d be uncomfortable around the crazy things they get into? Someone who’d spend your whole lives together looking down on them, bad-mouthing them to your kids, ridiculing them behind their backs? Isn’t it better that you’ve found someone who not only isn’t fazed by seeing your grandmother streaking through the castle at three in the morning but who jumps in and joins her? Not because she’s crazy, but because she cares enough about the people you love to try and make them happy? She even had you loosening up and enjoying their company rather than stressing over every little thing they did. How in the world is that a bad thing?”

  Harrison wanted to argue, but damn it, Chris had a good point. As crazy as his family drove him, he couldn’t ever be with someone who treated them with disdain.

  He shook his head. “It doesn’t change the fact that she ran out on me. If she cared about me, about any of us,” he added, still not wanting to admit out loud how much it hurt that she’d run from him, “she wouldn’t have left like that. We could have talked about it. She could have at least waited until after the re-enactment. It was the one thing that would have gone off without a hitch.”

  “And I ruined it.”

  Harrison looked up, jerking his head around so quickly the room spun for a moment. Nicole stood there beside the table, her hands shoved in her pockets.

  “You came back,” he said.

  “Just for a minute. I’ve got a cab waiting,” she said, gesturing outside.

  The quick burst of hope that had blazed in his chest at her appearance snuffed out, leaving him with a gnawing pain in the gaping hole where his heart used to be.

  “So why did you come here then?”

  The room had gone dead silent. Someone must have even unplugged the jukebox because the music had shut off mid-song.

  “I wanted to say sorry,” she said, her eyes boring into his. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “You didn’t,” he said. It was lie. Everyone in the room knew it, but he wasn’t going to admit it to her, especially in front of everyone there, how badly it had hurt when she’d run out.

  She looked down at the ground. “Good,” she said, though the word sounded like she had to force it from her throat. She looked back up and gave him a small smile, though her eyes were shiny. “I’m glad. I hope I didn’t ruin things for the tourists.”

  He shrugged. “We’ll survive. We told them it was part of the plan. A jilted bridegroom is so much more interesting than the same old scene.”

  She nodded but didn’t say anything else. And didn’t turn to go.

  “Was there something else you needed?” he asked. He knew he sounded cold, distant. Knew he was hurting her with every word, but he had to keep it up. If he softened even a little, the pain would rush in again, and he’d be on his knees begging her to reconsider. He had some pride left. Not much, but he was going to hold on to what was still there.

  She blinked like she was coming out of a trance and nodded, pulling something out of her pocket. “I needed to give this back to you. I didn’t want to leave it lying on a table, and I couldn’t find anyone at the house.”

  “Everyone is here,” he said, nodding to the back of the room where his parents watched them. Even Amy had glanced up from her phone to see what was going on.

  Nikki nodded again and held out the ring for him. He took it, closing his fist around it.

  “Is that all?” he asked, needing her to leave before he made a total fool of himself.

  She waited for a second and then finally nodded. “I guess so.”

  She turned and walked out, stopping only once as she climbed into the cab to look back through the window of the pub. Their eyes met through the glass. Neither one moved, and then she was gone. The cab pulled away.

  A low murmur picked up as the other patrons of the pub restarted their conversations. Harrison still stood, staring out the window, his grandmother’s engagement ring cutting into the palm of his hand as he squeezed it.

  Granny appeared at his side from who knew where. He held out his hand to give her ring back to her. She took it, shaking her head.

  “You’re a damn fool.”

  Harrison looked down at his grandmother before slumping back into his chair. Nicole really being gone hadn’t sunken in until that cab had pulled away. Until that moment, she’d still been there somewhere. Within reach.

  His stomach dropped with the sudden realization that even if he wanted to, he had no way to reach her. She’d told him when they first met on that plane…she’d been staying with her mother, whose name he didn’t know. She’d been using a burner phone because she’d been on her ex-boyfriend’s plan. And he didn’t have that n
umber, if she even still had the phone. He doubted she’d taken the phone he’d given her with her. He had no idea where she was even flying off to. Back to the States? Was she flying at all? She might be taking a train down to London or something. Or over to France. Or farther. She could be going anywhere.

  Until that second, he hadn’t quite understood that if he let her walk away, there was a very good possibility he’d never find her again. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d assumed she would be there if he changed his mind. When he’d finished licking his wounded pride, he could maybe look her up again.

  But…he couldn’t. He’d just let her walk away. For good. His grandmother was right. He was a damned fool.

  She nodded her head. “About time you figured it out.”

  He opened his mouth to ask how she knew what he’d been thinking, but then closed it again. He didn’t want to know. The only thing he wanted to know was where the love of his life had just disappeared to.

  “Austin!” Granny called out. “Find out where that cab went.”

  “Austin is here?” Harrison asked.

  “Of course,” Granny said. “You don’t think I toddled on down here by myself, do you?”

  Austin hung up the phone he was on. “Already did,” he said, with a little head bow at Harrison. “Miss Franklin is on her way to the airport, sir.”

  “Which airport?”

  “Newcastle International.”

  “Where is she going?”

  “The cab company didn’t have that information, sir.”

  “No, of course not,” Harrison said, waving him off. “I was just…never mind.”

  “If you leave right now, you might catch up with her. But you might want to hurry because if she gets there first…” Chris said.

  Harrison nodded. If she got there first, she’d be lost and he’d never find her. He looked around the table at his friends, each of whom sat smiling up at him like a bunch of goons. “I have to go,” he said.

  “Yeah you do!” Brooks said. “I’m coming, too!”

  “Me too!” the rest of the boys said, all jumping up from the table.